


Interview with the vampire

by allwaswell16



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, One Direction (Band), Real Person Fiction, Robert Pattinson - Fandom
Genre: Actor Robert Pattinson, Alpha Robert Pattinson, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Cooking, Bad Flirting, Bottom Louis, Canon Rob, Explicit Sexual Content, Food, Humor, Interviews, Journalist Louis, Knotting, M/M, Omega Louis, Paris (City), Scenting, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24899083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allwaswell16/pseuds/allwaswell16
Summary: Working at an alpha magazine wasn't always easy for an omega like Louis, but he's just landed his biggest interview yet with an A list actor who has asked for Louis especially. Unfortunately, the interview is with Rob Pattinson, the biggest pain in the arse alpha on the planet.Inspired by Rob’s interview in GQ Magazine and not actually about vampires
Relationships: Louis Tomlinson/Robert Pattinson
Comments: 46
Kudos: 130
Collections: Louis and Men Fest





	Interview with the vampire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [outropeace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/outropeace/gifts).



> Happy belated birthday, Andy! I did it! I wrote you a Louis/Rob fic! lmaooo! I can't even believe I did this. I know you're hoping this pairing is going to catch on, but I wouldn't hold your breath. 
> 
> Huge thank yous to my beta taggiecb and my Brit picker Rebecca! You're all amazing! Melanie thank you for encouraging me throughout. Thank you all for humoring me with this! 
> 
> You can blame the Panic gc for saying I could use this as the title even though it has only one mention of Rob playing a vampire. And yes, I felt very clever when I thought of it. 
> 
> And thanks so much to Sterre for running this fest!
> 
> This fic was inspired by Rob's interview in GQ which you can find [here](https://www.gq.com/story/robert-pattinson-on-batman-tenet-isolation-june-cover).

“Louis, may I see you for a moment?”

Louis stopped dead as he walked past the office door of his editor. “Of course, Liam. What can I do for you?”

He settled into a chair opposite the editor-in-chief of AQ magazine and tried to keep his scent from betraying any nerves at being called into the boss’ office. One of the hazards of being the only omega working for Alpha Quarterly was definitely that he had to be under strict control of himself constantly.

Liam scooted back from his desk and looked at him with a hand to his chin, studying his face. He swore he could hear the clock ticking on Liam’s desk, an unnerving indicator of how long Liam had remained silent.

“I have an—interesting proposal for you.”

Louis tensed. “Do you?”

Liam cleared his throat, and Louis suddenly realised that he could smell Liam’s discomfort for perhaps the first time ever in the five years they’ve known each other. 

“We have an opportunity to get an exclusive interview with one of the biggest actors of the moment. And I’d like you to do the interview.”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “What’s the catch?”

“He has requested you in particular to be his interviewer.”

Louis felt his jaw twitch. “Who is it?”

“Now, keep in mind that this is an _exclusive_ , Louis. You know he’s just been cast in his biggest role and—”

“Liam—”

“Before you say anything, just remember that—”

“LIAM—”

“As a personal favour to me—”

“No. No, no, no, no.” Louis stood up. 

“Louis, his agent says that he’ll only do the interview if you are the interviewer.”

“That fucking wanker.”

“You know I wouldn’t ask you if there were any other way.”

Louis sank back down into his seat with a sigh. “Yeah, I know.”

“So we either lose the exclusive, which will be a cover story, mind. Or you do the interview with Rob.”

Louis gritted his teeth. “Robert Pattinson is the biggest pain in the arse.”

“I know.” Liam shrugged. 

Louis stood up, defeated.

“Oh, and Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“I already had Niall book you a flight to Paris.”

  
  


Louis sighed as he sat in the Parisian flat rented for Rob by some studio for the film he was currently working on as he watched Rob Pattinson try to make an entrance through a set of dramatic doors that wall off the bedroom from the living area. 

Rob burst through the doors and then dissolved into cackles—again. “Wait, wait! Let me do another take. I can be serious, I swear.”

“There’s no point though,” Louis called out uselessly as Rob scurried back into the bedroom closing the doors behind him. “There’s no video for this interview.”

Rob’s muffled voice answered. “Yeah, but you can include it in the written piece, _Rob emerged from behind his bedroom doors, dark and brooding_ , _a Batman if you will._ ”

“Would never write that, mate. That’s shit writing, that.”

“Well, you know what I mean. Obviously, you’ll write it better. You’re a writer.”

“So they tell me,” he muttered. 

He heard some scuffling from behind the closed doors and wondered what Rob was doing back there. This time Rob opened the door slowly and strutted out as though on a catwalk in a different outfit than the one he’d been wearing. Now he wore a black suit jacket with nothing beneath it, maroon trousers with creases, a scarf wrapped around his forehead, and different coloured scarves wrapped around his neck, elbows and shins. That’s without mentioning the flip flops on his feet.

This alpha was clearly trying to break him.

Louis pressed his lips together, trying not to give Rob the reaction he was clearly looking for. This caused the unfortunate response of breathing through his nose, which was a very grave error in judgement as Rob smelled like the causes of his wettest wet dreams. Fuck. He’s not sure why just a whiff of Rob’s scent did it for him, but it was damn inconvenient. He let the warm smell of cedar wash over him before deciding to breathe through his mouth for a while, especially if Rob was going to walk around with no shirt beneath his jacket.

Long gold necklaces clinked together as Rob walked further into the room before whipping his head around to throw the scarf tied around his forehead over his shoulder before his laughter overcame him again and he doubled over. 

“Christ. I can write your entrance however you fucking want. As you said, I’m a writer. I’ll just lie.”

Rob shrugged and headed straight for the spot next to Louis on the sofa. He plopped down next to him far too close for Louis’ comfort. Rob propped his long legs up on the coffee table in front of them and let an arm drape over the back of the sofa. When Rob spread himself out like this, it just made him seem even larger and taller than he was, and he was already much larger than an omega like Louis.

Louis turned his head to give him a look of disdain, but Rob just waggled his eyebrows at him, a grin on his stupidly handsome face. He scooted a bit further away on the sofa so at least their legs were no longer touching. Space between them was needed if he was ever going to get through this.

“Keeping a _professional_ distance?”

“Well, I’m a professional,” Louis said.

Rob leaned in, his voice deepening. “Mm, I like it.”

Louis suppressed an eye roll and cleared his throat, tapping the pad of paper on his lap with a biro. “Can I ask why _The Batman_ was something you wanted to do? There are a lot of reasons to do it obviously, but there a lot of reasons not to as well.”

“Are there?” Rob looked at him, genuinely curious.

“Well, being Batman’s proper iconic, innit? I think of you as being a specific kind of actor these days, and Batman’s quite opposite that.” 

“Right. Well, I think that seems like an upside for me. I kind of like that there are some very well done versions of the character, pretty definitive, but I was thinking that there are multiple definitive playings of the character. Maybe it’ll be fun to work out the puzzle of it all. It becomes quite satisfying to think: Where’s my opening? Do I have anything inside me which would work if I could do it? And then it’s a legacy part, right? I like that. There’s so few things in life where people passionately care about it before it’s even happened. It’s energising for me.”

“So no downsides then?”

“Oh, there are downsides for sure. But the same with any role I take. Time away from my family and friends—from my _boyfriend_.”

Louis squirmed in his seat a bit as he scribbled some notes. 

When Louis looked up, Rob was watching him, fingers pinching his bottom lip in thought. “Oh, I thought of more downsides. The working out and the diet.”

“Ah. Of course. I suppose you’re—”

“Well, I’m currently just eating meals the studio sends over, but where’s the fun in that? Not very creative, and I quite like being creative with my cooking.”

“Proper chef, you.”

“Mm. I’ll make you something later, so you can tell your readers all about the amazing meal I’ve prepared for you. I have this great idea—”

“Christ.”

“I haven’t even said what the idea is yet!”

Louis knew he’d live to regret the next thing he said. “Fine. Please tell us all about your great idea.”

Rob grinned. He really was so handsome it made Louis stupid enough to ask things like this. “Well, it’s really two ideas. One, let’s both gather ingredients at the shop and then come back and battle it out _Masterchef_ style—”

“Not a cook, am I? Rubbish at cooking, me. Unless it’s a Pot Noodle or summat. So no thanks.”

“Fine, fine. Second idea...what if pasta had the same kind of fast food credentials as burgers and pizzas?”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “What are you on about?”

“I was trying to think, how would I make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?”

Louis shook his head. “Pasta’s never gonna compete with burgers and pizzas.”

“Well, you’re a burger and pizza connoisseur, yes?”

“Too right.”

“I’ll make you pasta tonight and convince you of the genius of this idea, and then you can tell all your readers and maybe a business partner will want to get involved and the idea will take off. We’ll make millions!”

“Right,” Louis drawled. “How about we just make spag bol and call it a night?”

“Louis, no.”

“Rob, yes.”

Rob’s lips curved into a comical pout. “I’ve even made a prototype that uses a panini press.”

“‘Course you have,” Louis muttered. “Mind if we continue the interview for a bit before you make your gourmet handheld pasta?”

“Piccolini Cuscino.”

“Um—what?”

“Piccolini Cuscino! Little Pillow. That’s what I’m going to call the handheld pasta.”

“Right.”

“You didn’t write it down.”

“Oh.”

“It’s Italian. P-i-c-c-o-l-i-n-i—you’re still not writing this down.”

Louis blew out a breath and wrote down the words as Rob spelled. 

“C-u-s-c-i-n-o. Clever, yeah?”

“Mm.”

“Should we go to the shop now and get supplies?”

Louis massaged his temples for a moment. “Can we please get through a few questions first?”

“Oh, right. Of course. What should we talk about? Should we talk about you? That’s a lovely shade of blue you’re wearing.”

As Rob lifted his eyebrows and waggled them, Louis looked around the room at anything that would be appropriate to throw at his head, but then tried to just calm himself enough to continue the interview. “Let’s get back to the diet and workout plan you’re doing.”

Rob sighed heavily and flopped back against the sofa, running a hand through his luscious hair. “They just send me things to eat that are already prepared. I guess eating tuna out of a tin wasn’t really what they had in mind as healthy eating.”

“Well, it’s protein though, innit?”

“That’s what I said! And I was mixing up some protein powder in some porridge. Not enough for them though. As for exercise they hired me a trainer.”

“And how’s that going then?” Louis snuck a peak at Rob’s physique and swallowed hard. Looked like the working out was going well.

His misstep didn’t go unnoticed.

“Like what you see?”

“Fuck off. How is the training going?”

Rob shrugged. “I’m only doing what she makes me. She wants me to use that stuff when she’s not around, but I’m barely doing anything.”

Louis looked in the direction Rob waved where a Bosu ball and a single weight sat in a corner.

“I mean, if I’m working out all the time, I’m just part of the problem. Don’t want to set a precedent that I’m going to be bulking up for roles.”

He nodded as he jotted down Rob’s words.

“If we’re going to the shop I’d best change my clothes.”

Louis bit his lip to keep from laughing at the idea of Robert Pattinson waltzing into a shop in Paris in the insane outfit he had on. He glanced up at Rob who was watching him intently—Rob’s eyes fixed on Louis’ lips. 

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, probably should.”

Rob unfolded himself from the sofa and stood up, sauntering back into the bedroom. “You could join me and ask a few more questions as I get dressed.”

Louis looked away from Rob’s smirk and didn’t deign to answer, just rolled his eyes and tapped his biro against his notebook again. It was hard to suppress his nervous energy, and Rob seemed to know it. He heard a dark chuckle as Rob moved through the doorway into the bedroom, leaving the door wide open in welcome.

Louis obviously didn’t take the bait.

Rob returned dressed in a white t-shirt and a black Carhartt hat, drinking from a can of Coca-Cola that he got from god knows where in his bedroom. He picked up a pair of sunglasses and a bag for life. “I’m ready as soon as I find my Nicorette.”

He picked up a few things off a table and located his Nicorette that he chewed in between pulls from his Coke. “Proper disgusting.”

“You like it.” Rob wrapped a hand around Louis’ wrist and pulled him towards the door to leave. His breath caught in his throat at the feel of the large hand wrapped around the delicate bones of his wrist, pressing in just the right spot to make his knees weak. Rob was so close now, his scent so strong that Louis could happily drown in it. 

Louis wasn’t the only one affected.

Rob’s eyes closed as he leaned in, his nose inches from Louis’ neck and so close Louis could feel his breath feather over his skin. 

“Fuck.” Louis pulled as hard as he could out of Rob’s grip. 

Rob opened his eyes, dazed.

“We have an interview to get through,” Louis hissed. “And I’m already humoring you with your new obsession with handheld pasta, so behave, knothead.”

Louis used the short walk to the shops to get control of himself. Everything was fine. He just needed to get through this interview, and everything would be fine. Just a little longer. He could make it. He could. 

The nearest shop wasn’t large, but Rob clearly had no idea where to find the things he was looking for. “Not seeing breadcrumbs, but fuck it, cornflakes are fine. Basically the same shit.”

“Ehm—”

Louis followed Rob as he threw nine packets of pre sliced cheese into the basket as well as some type of tomato sauce. 

“Hmm—I don’t see the pasta that I used before.”

“What’s it look like?”

“You know the pasta that’s, like, a little, it’s like a blob, a sort of squiggly blob?”

“Gnocchi?”

“No. It looks like—well, sort of messy...like, the hair bun on a girl.”

“I literally have got no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rob picked up a box of penne. “This will have to do.”

The box of penne pasta joined the cheese and cornflakes and sauce and Louis wasn’t sure where this was all going, but he was sure it was nowhere good. By the time they got to the checkout Rob has also chucked in sugar, tin foil, latex gloves, and an enormous novelty lighter. 

Louis had been trying to resist asking any questions, but finally caved. “Can I just ask what the lighter is for?”

“Always liked the idea of doing a little flambé with the brand name with kind of burnt ends at the top.”

Louis looked up at the ceiling and prayed to the universe that Rob wouldn’t burn down the flat.

As soon as they were back in the flat, Rob unloaded his bag and put the gloves on before fashioning an odd hollowed out ball of tin foil. He set it to the side and then dumped the penne into a bowl and covered the pasta with water. “Okay, obviously, first you have to microwave the pasta.”

“Obviously,” Louis echoed.

Rob set the microwave for eight minutes and then turned back to the strange foil bowl, which he began filling with sugar.

“What are you doing?”

“Well, after a lot of experimentation, I’ve found that you really need to congeal everything in an enormous amount of sugar and cheese.” Rob grinned, a wide toothy smile that had somehow fooled the world into taking this knobhead seriously. 

Louis found he had no words for what Rob was creating as he layered slices of cheese on top of the sugar. 

“Really needs a sugar crust,” Rob claimed, gleefully arranging the slices. “Oh, I’ve forgotten the outer layer of breadcrumbs. Well, today it’ll be cornflakes though.”

He lifted the pile of cheese and sugar and crumbled some cornflakes onto the foil before replacing the sugar and cheese monstrosity back on top of it. The red sauce was then spooned unceremoniously atop the entire thing. 

The microwave dinged, startling Rob who lunged for the microwave to take out the steaming bowl of pasta. “Ow! Fucking fuck that’s hot!”

“Did you burn yourself?” 

Rob waved his hand in the air as though it would be enough to cool his finger that had turned a bit red. Louis grabbed his hand and led him to the sink, turning on the tap to let the cold water run over his finger. 

“Thanks.” Rob’s spirits seem to have flagged a bit. “Could you check on the pasta and see if it’s done?”

Louis walked back to the bowl and examined the penne. “Not sure it’s completely cooked, but it looks okay.”

Rob appeared at his shoulder and stared dubiously at the pasta as though it had attacked him, which in a way it had. He dumped the pasta on top of the mixture in the foil. “There's no chance this is going to work, is there?”

“Absolutely none.”

With a sigh, Rob poured more sugar on top of all of it and then walked away and came back with the top half of a bun. He hollowed it out and then placed it on top before taking out the novelty lighter. “Going to burn in the initials.”

“You look like you’re cooking meth.”

“I want to really sell it with the branding.”

Suddenly, the smell of burning latex filled Louis’ nostrils at the same moment that Rob yelped in pain as his glove ignited, melting onto his palm. Louis quickly grabbed his hand, pulling off the glove and dragging him back to the sink.

Rob winced at the pain. “You can cut this bit out.”

“Oh, no. You burning the fuck out of your hand twice is definitely going in the interview.”

Rob sighed and walked back to the food, showing Louis the oddly shaped P and C burned into the top of the bun before wrapping the entire thing in more foil, compacting it into a smaller size. “Wait, can I put foil into an oven?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” Rob stared around at the various cooking appliances before choosing one.

“That looks like another microwave.”

“I assure you it is not. Why would anyone have two microwaves? This is clearly the oven.”

“I really think it’s a microwave and you can’t put foil in a microwave.”

“I’m the one who’s been living here for a month, Lou.”

Louis held his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Whatever you say then.” 

“I’m gonna put it in for eh—ten minutes.”

Rob placed the little tin pillow into the oven (or possibly microwave) and attempted to turn it on. 

“I don’t know why it won’t turn on. I literally used this yesterday and now it’s just impossible.” Rob fumbled at a few more buttons. “Oh, there it goes!”

Just as he turned to walk back towards Louis a crackling sound erupted with a bolt of light from the oven/microwave, which had them both ducking to the floor in reaction. 

“Christ.”

Rob laughed as the electricity flickered. “Oh my god.”

With a few more flashes and bangs the oven/microwave went dark along with the lights in the flat. “So that was a Piccolini Cuscino.”

“Well, I don’t know that it’s going to catch on, love”

“Is the interview over now?”

Louis sighed and picked himself back off the floor. “For now. You have to promise me you’ll answer some questions in the morning though. It’s your fault I’m here, and I have to have something to bring back to Liam.”

“Brilliant of me though, right?”

“I mean, you’ve just nearly burned down the flat, but sure.”

“I meant about managing to get you to Paris.” Rob smiled and then it faded a bit. “You still think I’m sexy though, don’t you, Lou? Even though I can’t cook for shit?”

Louis smiled down at his ridiculous boyfriend and crouched back down to the floor. He cupped one side of Rob’s face in his hand. “Proper sexy, you.”

“I just missed you so much, Lou. Had to figure out a way to get you here.”

“Well, I’m here. Not sure what we can do without electricity, but—”

“Oh, I know exactly what I want to do. No electricity needed.” 

“Mm, is that right?”

Rob tugged on his arm just hard enough to topple him into his alpha’s lap. Louis went gladly, straddling him and wrapping his arms around Rob’s wide shoulders. He let his hands wander over the newfound muscles of his back. “I think the working out is working.”

Soft lips captured his own, brief and gentle kisses as Rob spoke between each. “Like my—super hero muscles—do you?”

“Mm, they’re alright.” Louis’ mind clouded over as the scent of his alpha filled him with both comfort and want. 

“Still love me—when it’s over—and I go back—to being—gangly?”

“Of course, love.” Louis spoke against Rob’s lips, but then pulled away to make sure he made his point. “Loved you even when you were a ridiculous skinny vampire, didn’t I?”

“Could always do this though even when I was skinny.” Rob scooped him up, wrapping Louis’ legs around his waist with his hands firmly planted on his arse. 

“True enough. Although now I’m not afraid you’ll drop me.”

“Would never drop you, Lou, my lovely omega.” Rob groaned as Louis nosed along his neck breathing him in. Rob picked up the pace towards the bedroom. 

Rob placed him gently atop the messy sheets and blankets on the bed and then laid down alongside him. Louis preened as his alpha stared at him, carefully tucking a fallen lock of Louis’ hair behind his ear before letting his fingers trail down Louis’ jaw, his neck, his shoulder. 

“Need you.”

“I’m here.” 

Rob’s fingers caught the hem of Louis’ shirt as he rucked it up his body, and Louis helped him get it over his head and flung to the floor behind him. Rob’s fingers were now more free to roam his body, pressing against his warm skin, flushed with want for his alpha. And then, Rob’s lips followed the trail of his fingertips, worshipping each part of him in wonder as if for the first time.

Louis would never tire this—of the way Rob made him feel. Wanted, loved, protected. Even with all the time they spent apart, Rob just knew how to make things happen. Even if he was a little heavy handed with this whole interview thing. 

“You forgive me yet?”

“For what?” Louis asked, dazed as Rob began tugging off his trousers and pants.

Rob raised an eyebrow. “For making you interview me.”

“Oh, I suppose—ah, ah—” Rob now had him in his mouth, his pink lips wrapped around him. “Yes—yes—forgive you—”

“Mmmm.” Rob hummed around him a fingertip finding just how very wet Louis was for him before he released him. “Feels like it.”

Louis was already gasping for breath. “It’s how it all started between us, anyway.”

Rob pressed kisses along Louis’ thighs as his fingers plunged into Louis’ slick hole. “That it did. Me slobbering all over myself as the most beautiful omega I’d ever seen interviewed me, asking me what it was like to play a vampire.”

“Rob!”

“Yeah?”

“Please, I need you. Alpha, I need you.”

Those were always the magic words. 

Rob sat up, tearing at his clothes and falling over sideways trying to get his trousers off. A giggle escaped him as Rob growled at his inability to get undressed quickly enough. 

When he finally managed to get the last of his clothing off, Louis opened his arms to him and Rob came to him, joining them together at last. Louis clung to him as Rob murmured the words of praise that spoke to his inner omega. 

“So good for me, Lou. Always so, so good for me. Love you. Love you so much.”

Rob held fast to Louis, pressing their bodies as close as they could be, skin to skin, as his release finally came upon him, and he pressed his knot deep into Louis with a gasp. The smell of their joining filled the air and as Rob began to lathe his tongue over his neck and his knot grew inside him, binding them together, Louis felt his own release upon him, that familiar sensation of lust and love and something more as his mind blanked out.

They lay sated in each other’s arms with Louis’ head resting on Rob’s chest. He swirled his fingers through the soft, springy hairs he felt there and pressed a kiss to the heart beating within his alpha, his vampire, his super hero. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this fic! If you enjoyed it please leave kudos and comments! You can [reblog the fic post here](https://allwaswell16.tumblr.com/post/629434864346791936/interview-with-the-vampire-by-allwaswell16)! Or retweet the fic tweet [here](https://twitter.com/all_was_well_16/status/1306281306599419904?s=20)!


End file.
